M. B. Weston's Blog

On writing: Use Specific Nouns & Adjectives

Think about this sentence: "Johnny smelled something delicious."

Close your eyes and try to imagine exactly what Johnny smelled. How many of you are thinking pizza? How about steak? How about ice cream? Pie? Any pies out there?

All of us are smelling something different, aren't we. Why? Because the word delicious is not descriptive enough. It's what we call a bland adjective.

Bland adjectives are adjectives that tell us absolutely nothing about what we are trying to describe. When I wrote delicious, you had no idea what I meant. You knew whatever Johnny smelled probably tasted (and smelled) yummy, but you had no idea what it was.

Let's try this sentence instead: "Johnny smelled brown sugar, cinnamon, and raisins."

Do you notice the difference between this sentence and the first? With this sentence, you know exactly what Johnny is smelling, and you can almost smell it yourself. You are right there with Johnny, smelling the brown sugar, raisins, and cinnamon—which we can only assume are for oatmeal cookies.

When you write, try to use specific adjectives. Instead of cold, try frosty, chilly, or icy. Replace hot with sultry, humid, or arid. Use adjectives that help your reader envision your story, characters, and landscape better. This will help enhance your reader's reading experience.

The same principle applies to nouns. Instead of ball, try baseball, basketball, rubber ball, or even crystal ball. For bird, use cardinal, blue jay, or sparrow. Eliminate your trees and give your readers firs, elms, pines, and oaks. Using specific nouns will help your reader see exactly what you're seeing. Both you and your reader will be on the same page. 

Fantasy novelist M. B. Weston is the author of The Elysian Chronicles, a fantasy series about guardian angel warfare and treason, which is being adapted into a graphic novel series by Wandering Sage Publications, Inc. Weston speaks to children, teens, and adults about writing and the process of getting published. For more information on M. B. Weston, visit www.mbweston.com. Find out more about The Elysian Chronicles at www.elysianchronicles.com.

On Writing: What the Publishing Industry Can Learn From J. K. Rowling & Harry Potter

I have a few questions for those who work in the publishing industry:

• Would you turn down a manuscript in which the first 4 pages featured nothing but exposition, i.e. no dialogue whatsoever?
• Would you turn down a manuscript geared toward 9-11 year olds that was over 60 thousand words long?
• Would you turn down a manuscript with at least 6 to 8 passive voice sentences in just the first chapter?
• What about a manuscript riddled with adverbs--especially dialogue attribution adverbs?

Congratulations. You just turned down Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. And you missed out on all that luscious cash.

I've seen headlines, blogs, and tweets about the impending death of the publishing industry, many of them linking it to the rise of e-books and e-book readers. I suspect, however, that the publishing industry's problems run deeper than just technological advances.

My past few posts have focused on a few writing rules J. K. Rowling broke--writing rules publisher, agents, and editors often insist authors follow. Rowling submitted Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone to several publishing houses before finally getting a book deal. No one knows the reasons those publishers turned down Potter, but I have a few suspicions.

Could it be that publishers spend more time focusing on what they think sells books instead of what actually sells books? Harry Potter didn't fit in the publishing industry's box of what they thought could sell. It exploded out of it.

What can we learn from J. K. Rowling and Harry Potter?

• A captivating story trumps all writing rules. Write captivating stories. Buy captivating manuscripts.
• The publishing industry should concentrate less on finding manuscripts that fit in their rules and their "boxes" and more on finding captivating stories. Lose the fear and allow yourself a little creativity.
• Writers should focus on writing captivating stories and worry about the rules later.
• That being said, writers should still be aware of industry standard rules. Learn the craft. Play the game. Sometimes in order to get your captivating story out there, you've got to march to someone else's drum.

What do you think? Has the publishing industry stopped concentrating on what makes a story sell?

This post is part of a mini-series of posts. Click below to read previous posts in the series.

• On Writing: How to Break the Rules & Get Away With It!
• On Writing: How to Break the "Kill the Narrator Rule" & Get Away With It!
• On Writing: How to Break the "Eliminate Passive Voice Rule" & Get Away With It!
• On Writing: How to Break the "Eliminate Bland Adjectives Rule" & Get Away With It!
• On Writing: How to Break the "Eliminate Adverbs Rule" & Get Away With It!
• On Writing: How to Break the "Never Shift POVs Rule" & Get Away With It!

Fantasy novelist M. B. Weston is the author of The Elysian Chronicles, a fantasy series about guardian angel warfare and treason, which is being adapted into a graphic novel series by Wandering Sage Publications, Inc. Weston speaks to children, teens, and adults about writing and the process of getting published. For more information on M. B. Weston, visit www.mbweston.com. Find out more about The Elysian Chronicles at www.elysianchronicles.com.

On Writing: How to Break the "Never Shift POVs Rule" & Get Away With It!

The first writer's conference I attended was the Naples Press Club Writer's Conference in Naples, Florida,  2005 (I think). Anne Hawkins of John Hawkins Literary Agency spoke to us about what agents want. Her class and organization amazed me, and I remember my excitement at getting to listen to a real literary agent speak. That day, I learned about this little thing called POV, or point of view. No, I'm not talking about an opinion. I'm talking about the point of view from which you decide to tell your story.

Think of POV as the character who holds your story's camera. In an earlier post about killing your narrator, I mentioned the mental movie that plays in your reader's head. One of your characters is holding that mental camera, meaning you are showing your readers only what that particular character see and thinks. Some books, like the Nancy Drew series, use only one character's POV. Others, like my Elysian Chronicles series, use more than one POV. Most of J. K. Rowling's Harry Potter series is written from Harry's POV, but Rowling changes it up on occasion.

Anne Hawkins explained one of the publishing industry's rules regarding POV: You can switch POVs, but never switch in the middle of a scene, meaning don't let your characters pass the "camera" around. In the middle of a scene, keep inside the head of only one person. If you must switch POVs, use something physical, like a space between paragraphs or a chapter break to help your readers follow your story.

I knew immediately that my A Prophecy Forgotten manuscript had a problem. I rushed home after that conference and combed through my scenes, changing them so I kept the same POV throughout a scene. Looking back, those changes improved my manuscript--especially because I had not only been switching POVs within a scene, but also dimensions.

Why publishers, agents, and editors have this rule:

• Switching POVs between characters within a scene can often confuse readers. You want your readers sweating it out alongside your characters, not figuring out what's going on because you switched from John's POV to Fred's POV without warning.
• Too much POV changing disassociates your reader from your story. The "Fly on the Wall" POV where the narrator gets into everyone's head at random is called 3rd Person Omniscient--a technically correct POV, but one that is hard for readers to relate to. You want your reader to be involved in your story and to root for your protagonists. Readers will root more easily when you stick to a few POVs. Case in point: imagine if Rowling had given us more of Ron's POV--especially when Ron and Harry were fighting. We would feel confusion over who to root for, and possibly disassociate ourselves.

Rowling actually breaks this rule in Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone.

• In the first chapter, she switches from Mr. Dursley's POV to Professor McGonagall's mid-paragraph: “Mr. Dursley might have been drifting into an uneasy sleep, but the cat on the wall outside was showing no sign of sleepiness.”
• She switches numerous times during the 1st quidditch match, taking us from Harry to Hagrid to Harry to Hermione and so on.

Why breaking this rule worked: Rowling preserves the spirit of the "No POV Switching" rule. The purpose of the rule is to keep authors from confusing readers. In neither case does the reader become confused. I only even noticed it during my 7th time reading the book through because I've taught the rule so much. In fact, Rowling needed to switch POVs because Harry was on his broom and important action was taking place in the stands--action that affected the end of the story.

What this tells us about the craft of writing: The reader does not care whose POV you use as long as he or she does not get confused. That being said, however, try to stick to one POV in a scene except in unique circumstances. You will find sticking with one POV increases tension within your reader, and tension turns pages.

This post is part of a mini-series of posts. Click below to read previous posts in the series.

• On Writing: How to Break the Rules & Get Away With It!
• On Writing: How to Break the "Kill the Narrator Rule" & Get Away With It!
• On Writing: How to Break the "Eliminate Passive Voice Rule" & Get Away With It!
• On Writing: How to Break the "Eliminate Bland Adjectives Rule" & Get Away With It!
• On Writing: How to Break the "Eliminate Adverbs Rule" & Get Away With It!

Fantasy novelist M. B. Weston is the author of The Elysian Chronicles, a fantasy series about guardian angel warfare and treason, which is being adapted into a graphic novel series by Wandering Sage Publications, Inc. Weston speaks to children, teens, and adults about writing and the process of getting published. For more information on M. B. Weston, visit www.mbweston.com. Find out more about The Elysian Chronicles at www.elysianchronicles.com.

On Writing: How to Break the "Eliminate Adverbs Rule" & Get Away With It!

One of my favorite quotes from Stephen King is on page 125 of his book, On Writing: “I believe the road to hell is paved with adverbs, and I will shout it from the rooftops.” (King, Stephen. On Writing by Stephen King. A Memoir of the Craft. New York: Shribner, 2000.) I teach this same principle of eliminating adverbs in my workshops. My reasoning: the verb should be the strongest word in your sentence. If you have to modify it with an adverb, you need to choose a stronger verb. Granted, I litter my blogs with adverbs, but that’s because 1) I’m lazy and 2) days only have 24 hours. When God gives me 36 hours in a day, I’ll adjust my blogs. (My books are another matter.)

Why publishers, agents, and editors have this rule:

• As stated above, you can usually find a better verb.
• Overuse of adverbs leads to weak writing. (Anything we lean on as a crutch leads to weak writing.)

J. K. Rowling breaks this rule often, as many people point out to me during my workshops. Here are a few examples from just the first chapter of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone.

• “…Mrs. Dursley gossiped away happily…”
• “He eyed them angrily.”
• The nation’s owls have been behaving very unusually today.”
• “…his heart sinking horribly.”
• “Professor McGonagall sniffed angrily.”
• “…she said impatiently.”

Why breaking this rule worked:

• Because story trumps adverb usage. If you can write a story as good as Harry Potter, by all means dump in as many adverbs as you want.
• Remember the Axiom to All Writing Rules discussed in my post about eliminating passive voice: Readers don’t know the rules. Readers don’t know that agents stand in front of us at writing conferences and complain about adverbs. Readers don’t know that all of our “how to write” literature tells us not to use adverbs. Readers want a good story. Period. End of statement. Give them what they want.

What this tells us about the craft of writing: Concentrate on writing a captivating story first. (More on how to do that in later blogs.) Eliminate your adverbs later.

Stay tuned for tomorrow’s post about shifting POV (point of view).

This post is part of a mini-series of posts. Click below to read previous posts in the series.

• On Writing: How to Break the Rules & Get Away With It!
• On Writing: How to Break the "Kill the Narrator Rule" & Get Away With It!
• On Writing: How to Break the "Eliminate Passive Voice Rule" & Get Away With It!
• On Writing: How to Break the "Eliminate Bland Adjectives Rule" & Get Away With It!

Fantasy novelist M. B. Weston is the author of The Elysian Chronicles, a fantasy series about guardian angel warfare and treason, which is being adapted into a graphic novel series by Wandering Sage Publications, Inc. Weston speaks to children, teens, and adults about writing and the process of getting published. For more information on M. B. Weston, visit www.mbweston.com. Find out more about The Elysian Chronicles at www.elysianchronicles.com.

On Writing: How to Break the "Eliminate Bland Adjectives Rule" & Get Away With It!

My Institute for Children’s Literature* curriculum encourages writers to use specific rather than general words. For instance, using blue jay instead of bird and cobalt instead of blue conveys a specific picture. They gave us an exercise in which we had to replace bland, boring adjectives with more specific ones. This makes sense. Even as a novelist, I must still conserve words, and I want my audience to see the clearest mental picture I can create using the fewest words possible. Why use cold when I can use frosty? Frosty creates a better picture (and feeling) in my reader’s mind.

Why publishers, agents, and editors have this rule:

• Publishers, agents, and editors like word-pictures too.
• Publishers, agents, and editors read tons of manuscripts a day. Imagine having to read through a slush pile of bland, boring adjectives such as big, pretty, small, and short all day long.

Think of writing like oatmeal: the original flavor is healthy, but adding apples, nutmeg, brown sugar, and raisins just makes it so much better. Give your publisher, editor, agent, and most of all, your readers, flavored oatmeal.

J. K. Rowling breaks this rule a few times just in the first chapter of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. (I've underlined the general words.) 

• Mr. Dursley’s “big, beefy neck…”
• “…very large mustache…”
• “…very good mood…”
• “…large, tawny owl…”
• “…a lot of strangely dressed people”
• “Nothing like this man had ever been seen on Privet Drive. He was tall, thin, and very old…”

Not only does Rowling use a few bland adjectives, but her use of a lot and verywould make most Language Arts teachers sneer like Professor Snape.

Why breaking this rule worked:

• Rowling uses so many other visual clues that her occasional use of bland adjectives doesn’t matter. Her entire first page is full of so much description and wonderful adjectives that she is allowed an occasional big and pretty. For instance, she begins by describing Dumbledore as, “Nothing like this man had ever been seen on Privet Drive. He was tall, thin, and very old…” Left alone, the description would not form an adequate mental picture. I might think of my granddad, and other readers might think of Strom Thurmond. Rowling doesn’t leave us hanging, however. She adds “judging by the silver of his hair and beard, which were both long enough to tuck into his belt. He was wearing long robes, a purple cloak that swept to the ground, and high heeled, buckled boots. His blue eyes were light, right, and sparkling behind half-moon spectacles and his nose was very long and crooked, as though hit had been broken at least twice.” Here, visual images abound. The tall, thin part was just setting us up.
• “Big, beefy neck” is an excellent example of alliteration. Beefy neck sounds great, but big, beefy neck has a much better rhythm.
• “A lot of strangely dressed people” works because of her next sentence: “People in cloaks.”Yes, I realize that is not a sentence. Fiction writers are allowed a few of those, however. Like the Dumbledore description, "strangely dressed people" is setting us up, kind of warning us that something odd is about to follow. 

What this tells us about the craft of writing:Word pictures trump vocabulary. Often we writers agonize over finding the perfect word and forget to create the actual word picture. I could say, "the elderly woman" rather than "the old woman," and claim that was give you a better mental image because I used a more specific adjective. However, if I say, "The old woman pointed a twisted finger at the forest," I've given you a better word picture than "the elderly woman," havent I? And I used the general adjective, old. Rowling doesn’t use difficult words, but she forms a picture in our minds. Doubt me? Read the section about Honeydukes and tell me if your mouth waters.

Stay tuned for tomorrow’s blog on never using adverbs.

*For those of you interested in writing children's or Young Adult Literature, please check out the Institute for Children’s Literature. They gave me my start, and I highly reccomend them.

This post is part of a mini-series of posts. Click below to read previous posts in the series.

• On Writing: How to Break the Rules & Get Away With It!
• On Writing: How to Break the "Kill the Narrator Rule" & Get Away With It!
• On Writing: How to Break the "Eliminate Passive Voice Rule" & Get Away With It!

Fantasy novelist M. B. Weston is the author of The Elysian Chronicles, a fantasy series about guardian angel warfare and treason, which is being adapted into a graphic novel series by Wandering Sage Publications, Inc. Weston speaks to children, teens, and adults about writing and the process of getting published. For more information on M. B. Weston, visit www.mbweston.com. Find out more about The Elysian Chronicles at www.elysianchronicles.com.

On Writing: How to Break the "No Passive Voice Rule" & Get Away With It!

Stephen King, in his book On Writing, gives almost the best definition of passive voice I’ve read.

• “Verbs come in two types, active and passive. With an active verb, the subject of the sentence is doing something. With a passive verb, something is being done to the subject of the sentence. The subject is just letting it happen. You should avoid the passive tense. I’m not the only one who says so; you can find the same advice in The Elements of Style.” (King, Stephen. On Writing by Stephen King. A Memoir of the Craft. New York: Shribner, 2000. Page 122.)

King was referring to another good writing resource, Strunk & White’s Elements of Style, which discusses passive voice in Rule 14, entitled “Use active voice.” I highly recommend both books for anyone who wants to make writing a career, and I agree 100 percent with these fellows regarding passive voice. I actually include the rule: Eliminate Passive Voice in my writing workshop called “The Three Rules of Great Writing.”

Why publishers, agents, and editors have this rule: Passive voice slows down a story, and it uses useless words. My accounting textbook in college was written almost entirely in passive voice, and I fell asleep every time I read it. This is not an exaggeration. You'll find quite a few makeup stains and drool marks throughout its pages.

J. K. Rowling breaks this rule with a few passive voice sentences just in the first chapter of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone:

• “...there was nothing about the cloudy sky outside to suggest that…”
• “There was a tabby cat standing on the corner of Privit Drive, but there wasn’t a map in site.”
• “But on the edge of town, drills were driven out of this mind by something else.”
• “…there seemed to be a lot of strangely dressed people about.”
• “In fact, it was nearly midnight before the cat moved at all.”

She’s not the only one author who has dared to use passive voice in a story. John Grisham fills The Client with passive voice sentences. (Granted, he started out as a lawyer, and I suspect “Passive Voice As a Second Language 101” is a requirement for all law students before taking “Legal-ese and Loopholes 201.”)

Why breaking this rule worked:As we writers often slave away at making our prose perfect, our dialog dynamic, and our clichés chic, we sometimes forget 3 important axioms to the Writing Rules:

• The reader does not know the Writing Rules.
• The reader does not care about said Writing Rules.
• The reader just wants to read a good story.

J. K. Rowling delivers a not only a good story, but also a phenomenal epic. She might use a few there’s and by’s, but who cares? No one notices because her story captivates immediately. (That, and she’s witty. Her entire first chapter makes you giggle with delight.)

What this tells us about the craft of writing: Story trumps your Language Arts teacher’s grammar and style rules. (Actually, story trumps everything.) Writers succeed or fail with readers on the basis of their stories—not on their knowledge of Elements of Style. (That being said, publishers, editors, and agents do care about grammar and style, so don’t get lazy.) Style and grammar are the icing on your cake, and icing without a cake is just a big, gooey mess.

Stay tuned for tomorrow’s blog on how to break the “Eliminate useless Adjectives” rule.

This post is part of a mini-series of posts. Click below to read previous posts in the series.

• On Writing: How to Break the Rules & Get Away With It!
• On Writing: How to Break the "Kill the Narrator Rule" & Get Away With It!

Fantasy novelist M. B. Weston is the author of The Elysian Chronicles, a fantasy series about guardian angel warfare and treason, which is being adapted into a graphic novel series by Wandering Sage Publications, Inc. Weston speaks to children, teens, and adults about writing and the process of getting published. For more information on M. B. Weston, visit www.mbweston.com. Find out more about The Elysian Chronicles at www.elysianchronicles.com.

On Writing: How to Break the "Kill the Narrator Rule" & Get Away With It

One of the writing rules I learned from my first publisher during a seminar was: Kill the Narrator. He wanted smooth prose that disappeared into the story instead of prose that sounded like Aesop’s Fables. I dutifully scanned through my manuscript and sucked the life out of my narrator. Honestly, it was one of the best things I could have done. Taking the focus off my narrator forced me to focus on my characters.

Why publishers, agents, and editors have this rule: When someone reads a story, a mental movie of sorts begins playing in his or her head. Our job as writers, is to keep that movie flowing and feed it yummy bits of details, conflict, and characters. When we let our prose become a narrator who tells the story instead of letting our characters actions show the story, we rob our readers of the optimum “mental movie” experience. (More on “show, don’t tell” in future blogs.) And let’s be honest, most novels geared toward adults rarely use a showcased narrator.

Rowling breaks this rule with panache, and I love her for it. Her narrator is alive and well. Simply her first paragraph is an example:

• “Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much. They were the last people you’d expect to be involved in anything strange or mysterious, because they just didn’t hold with such nonsense.”

These fabulous opening lines captivated the entire world—including me. They are also perfect examples of not killing your narrator. The “thank you very much” and “you’d” are considered writing no-no’s. Rowling also uses pure narration for 4 full pages of text before introducing a bit of dialogue. Most agents and editors I've heard speak would tell you that manuscript would be in the trash immediately.

Why breaking this rule worked: Rowling gets away with using a narrator with more personality than many publishers and agents usually allow for three reasons:

• Her audience was once just 11. Hard to believe, gauging the size and age level of her audience now, but Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stoneis a children’s book. Children love listening to people read to them, and they love fairy tales. Rowling breaks the Kill the Narrator rule based on the age of her audience.
• Rowling’s writing has voice. All good writers have voice. Voice is impossible to describe, but easy to illustrate. You can pick up a book and know the author is Stephen King verses John Grisham just by reading the first paragraph because they both have voice. Rowling’s writing has voice, too, and that voice makes her story deliciously yummy for those of us who crave a good fantasy about good and evil.
• Despite giving life to her narrator, Rowling still shows the story instead of tells it.The Kill the Narrator rule exists because writers often make their poor narrator do all the telling. Rowling keeps focus on the characters. Her narrator doesn’t tell us, “Something very strange happened in London.” Rowling shows us by having Mr. Dursley see odd people walking around. Her narrator doesn’t tell us, “Harry Potter is special.” Rowling lets the conversation between Professor Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall show us.

What this tells us about the craft of writing:

• Always keep your audience in mind. Children (and those of us who are still children at heart) like living narrators. Rowling makes us feel as though she is telling us a super-secret, special, snuggle-under-the-covers story, and the world loved it so much we bought a bunch of her books!
• Always remember to show instead of tell. If you want to make your narrator alive, fine. Just make sure your narrator stays out of the way of your story.

Stay tuned to tomorrow’s blog about passive voice!

This post is part of a little mini-series of posts. Click below to read previous posts in the series.

• On Writing: How to Break the Rules & Get Away With It!

Fantasy novelist M. B. Weston is the author of The Elysian Chronicles, a fantasy series about guardian angel warfare and treason, which is being adapted into a graphic novel series by Wandering Sage Publications, Inc. Weston speaks to children, teens, and adults about writing and the process of getting published. For more information on M. B. Weston, visit www.mbweston.com. Find out more about The Elysian Chronicles at www.elysianchronicles.com.

On Writing: Editing Redundancy

Have you heard of The Department of Redundancy Department? I'm the department HEAD.

I'm currently looking over some of the changes my editor made to my Out of the Shadows manuscript and adding in my final additions before it enters the production process. I've discovered some of my main weaknesses as a writer: my ana-retentive side. Sounds crazy--you'd think being anal retentive would help my writing, and it does, but it also causes a big problem. See, I want to make sure the reader knows exactly what I'm saying--to a fault. I'm the engineer's daughter. I'm not just going to tell you its big. I'm going to give you its dimensions!

As a result, I have a tendency repeat information. It's called redundancy, and it's a common writing mistake. I just happen to make it a lot, and it's hard for me to catch. Fortunately, my editor caught a lot of the redundancies for me. (That's why publishers have editors.) I've listed a few of the funniest here, along with my own self-depreciating comments. (Note: most of the comments are sarcasm, intending to show how absurd my redundancies were. I.E., I know that blue fog doesn't exist.)

• Mountainside'sMineshaft (as opposed to mineshaft that you typically find on the prairie...)
• quiet tavern full of empty tables (empty tables would mean it's quiet, wouldn't it?)
• Posh, upper-class cherubian shoppers (are there any non-posh upper-class cherubian shoppers?)
• Davian pocketed the scroll, intending to read it later. (My editor's comment: "Readers will already assume he is planning to read it later. Fewer words quicken the pace.")
• immense forty-person conference table
• Water dripped throughout the mine into puddles on the ground. (In case some of you were under the impression that some of the puddles were floating in the air...)
• His torn, black tunic hung on one shoulder by a few threads... ("By a few threads" indicates it's torn.)
• the jaws and teethof a lion... (Other animals have the jaws of a lion and the teeth of a humpback whale, but this one is special. It's a minotaur, BTW, and Davian is chained to a wall. Oh, dear!)
• He lifted his sword in the air... (Most people lift their swords in water... Actually, I'm changing it to "raised his sword" but not "in the air.")
• The gnomes shivered in the cold. (The rest of us often shiver in the extreme heat... Note that I have already told the reader that there is snow on the ground... Did I mention I was the head of the redundancy department?)
• Jim shrugged his shoulders. (Some people shrug their lips, some shrug their toes, but Jim, well I just want to make sure you knew that Jim shrugs his shoulders.)
• wooden pews (Has anyone ever seen any pews that aren't wooden? Or at least part wood? You know, just in case you were thinking of a stainless steel, IKEA-esque church pew...)
• She gave Davian a half-smile and looked at the ground below. (When I get nervous, I usually stare at the ground above me, but sometimes I'll take a good glance at the ground to the side...) (Incidentally, I never did mention who she is, did I? Ha ha ha!)
• "We found the bodies of our missing archers cast asidein the woods about three miles from here." (Normally, my villains would have prepared the bodies for burial and left a nice note expressing their condolences to Davian for the loss of his men; however, this time they were in a hurry, so after murdering Davian's men they just cast their bodies aside.)
• ice cold water (Now, ice HOT water? That's pure refreshment!)
• white wisps of fog (You should see it when fog "wisps" in blue! And sometimes in green. So pretty, blue fog... Yeah, I suck.)
• graciously donated (I'm currently hiding under my desk from the Cliche Police for this one.)

The moral of the story:

• No matter who you are or how well you write, you always need to have someone edit your work.
• Pay careful attention to repetitive information.

Be sure to check out my new To Elysia and Back Again podcast every Tuesday! Click here for more information.

Fantasy novelist M. B. Weston is the author of The Elysian Chronicles, a fantasy series about guardian angel warfare and treason, which is being adapted into a graphic novel series by Wandering Sage Publications, Inc., with Weston penning the script and KISS comic book artist, Adam Black, doing the art. Weston hosts a podcast on her To Elysia and Back Again blog, which can be downloaded on itunes. Click here for a complete listing of the To Elysia and Back Again podcast episodes. Weston also hosts two radio talk shows: The Final Cut in Movies, an internet radio talk show about science fiction and fantasy movies on Ad Astra Radio, which can also be heard as a podcast on M. B. Weston's Podcasts site or on iTunes and Culture Watch Radio, a show that reviews movies, books, and TV shows from a Christian perspective on southwest Florida's Praise FM 89.5. Weston speaks to children, teens, and adults about writing and the process of getting published. For more information on M. B. Weston, visit www.mbweston.com. Find out more about The Elysian Chronicles at www.elysianchronicles.com.

ImagiCon 4: The C. S. Lewis Panel

My last panel at ImagiCon was a panel on C. S. Lewis and how he influenced my writing. I was supposed to head up the panel alone, and honestly I wasn't prepared. Getting ready for ImagiCon, recording my radio show, and working left me little time to do anything extra. When Brannon Hollingsworth, one of the Wandering Men, asked if he and his colleague (and fellow Wanderer) Davis Riddle could join me as panelists, I immediately said yes. It turns out Davis had taught a six-week course on C. S. Lewis's Screwtape Letters and Brannon was an expert on Lewis.

The panel turned into what has probably been my most favorite panel ever. We discussed a number of topics with the audience:

Our Faith
Brannon, Davis, and I are Christians, and we openly shared what we believe with the audience. Opportunities like this don't come around that often, and I loved being able to share openly in such a setting.

How Our Faith Affects Our Writing
My Elysian Chronicles series and C. S. Lewis's Chronicles of Narnia have similar themes and purposes. Brannon and Davis co-wrote (with the rest of the Wandering Men) Skein of Shadows, a book that incorporates their game Crown. (I think. Visit www.wanderingmen.com for more information.) The Wandering Men are coming out with a sequel to Skein of Shadows that will show a bit more of their own purposes.

The Difficulties of Writing Fantasy (or any work of fiction) Without Violating Your Moral Code
Evil people do evil things. How do Brannon, Davis, and I, as people who profess faith in Christ, write about evil and show evil without crossing the line? And humans are imperfect. How do we create imperfect characters with real flaws, again, without crossing the line or offending?And the Wandering Men create RPGs (role playing games), which is considered a no-no in many churches. Again, how do we do this without crossing the line?

The answer: Very carefully.

Davis brought up a phenomenal point during this discussion. He said, "First do no harm." I'm not going to have a spiritual theme in everything I write. Sometimes, I'm just going to write for fun. The Wandering Men are the same. Even if we write something for fun, however, we still understand our responsibilities. First do no harm. Our first and foremost concern is making sure we don't harm the gospel message or encourage readers to go in a direction they shouldn't. But how does this play out?

• Evil Characters.Each of us have evil characters in our novels, and those characters do some bad things. We make sure that evil is shown as evil and usually gets punished. We also try to write about the evil actions without glorifying them. We don't savor the torture scenes or rev up the violence. We explain them, but without glorifying them.
• Good Characters Screwing Up.Hey, it happens. We're all human, and so are our characters. Our characters, sometimes characters that our readers might look up to, are going to make mistakes and even do something incredibly selfish or, well, evil. We make sure to write in such a way that the readers will know our characters actions are wrong. We also make sure that our characters endure consequences for those actions.

Here's the beautiful thing about characters screwing up. It gives us a chance to weave in a theme of redemption.The message of Christianity isn't a message of "don't be bad." It's a message of redemption--of forgiveness. When our characters mess up, we have an opportunity to show the world forgiveness and give the world a taste of what Christ did for us. And Brannon, Davis, and I will tell you that is what excites us the most!

We recorded the panel, and I'll be podcasting it sometime this month, so keep watching the blog!

Click below for more blogs on ImagiCon:

• ImagiCon 1: 702 Miles, Low Tires, and No Quarters!
• ImagiCon 2: The Actual Convention
• ImagiCon 3: My Southwest Airlines "Wanna Get Away?" Moment 

Be sure to check out my new To Elysia and Back Again podcast every Tuesday! Click here for more information.

Fantasy novelist M. B. Weston is the author of The Elysian Chronicles, a fantasy series about guardian angel warfare and treason, which is being adapted into a graphic novel series by Wandering Sage Publications, Inc., with Weston penning the script and KISS comic book artist, Adam Black, doing the art. Weston hosts a podcast on her To Elysia and Back Again blog, which can be downloaded on itunes. Click here for a complete listing of the To Elysia and Back Againpodcast episodes. Weston is also the host of The Final Cut in Movies, an internet radio talk show about science fiction and fantasy movies on Ad Astra Radio, which can also be heard as a podcast on M. B. Weston's Podcasts site or on iTunes. Weston speaks to children, teens, and adults about writing and the process of getting published. For more information on M. B. Weston, visit www.mbweston.com. Find out more about The Elysian Chronicles at www.elysianchronicles.com.

Description: Make it Blend

I’ve been discussing description in a few of my recent blogs:

• “On Writing: Editing Your Description”
• “Description: If it Doesn’t Matter, Axe It!”
• “Description: MAKE it Matter!”
• “Description: Bring Your World to Life!”

Today, I’ll discuss how to make your description balanced—how to make it blend.

First, you must understand the Rule of Three’s. Stephen King discusses this in his book, On Writing, in much better detail than I can. So purchase his book—it’s an amazing book and worth it. And no, I don’t know Stephen King personally, and no one has asked me to say this. It’s just a really good book about writing. (Kids, it contains a few bad words, so ask your parents first.)

I’m assuming you all will read about the Rule of Three’s from the master, so I’ll just sum it up here:

• You only need three or four main details when you first introduce a scene. For instance, in A Prophecy Forgotten, book I of the Elysian Chronicles, needed to give the reader a quick introduction to The Treetop Inn, a key setting, not only in A Prophecy Forgotten, but also in Out of the Shadows. It deserves a paragraph introduction. I’ve highlighted my main details:
       The Treetop Inn had been the most popular meeting place in the City of Ezzer for five centuries. It was located in the top of one of the tallest trees in the city, and it was one of the only buildings left from the days of Edenian when Ezzer was king. The vast tavern’s only light came from a few glow torches and patches of sunlight that poured through its multicolored crystal windows. It had plump, cushy booths for quiet conversations, immense round tables with soft perching stools for lively parties, and the best honeywine and finest service in all Elysia.
  (The "best honeywine and service" are small bits of “telling” because I can only show so much.)
• The reader will fill in the rest of the details.Did I tell you about the wood-paneled walls? Did I mention the smells? I admit I cheated. I snuck in a few sounds (quiet conversations and lively parties), but you’re inside the Treetop Inn. You’ve filled in the details for me, saving me a bunch of work. (Thank you, by they way.)

Oh, remember that the Rule of Three’s applies to introducing characters as well.

You’ve started with your three to four main description elements, but you know you want to add description to more of the scene, and you should. But how do you add description without boring the reader?

Blend it in!

When I first wrote A Prophecy Forgotten, I included three paragraphs that described cherubians (my angel creatures) in full detail into my first chapter. A big writing mistake! I axed the paragraphs and blended the necessary detail into my narrative when I introduced Arch Seraph Zephor. First, I looked over my paragraphs and pulled out the details I knew I could show instead of tell:

• Zephor’s uniform (a seraph’s uniform, silver and black)
• Non-seraph uniforms (LAF uniforms, maroon and black)
• Cherubian wingspan compared to body height
• Cherubian wing color is not white
• Zephor is old.

These sections take place at different stages in “Chapter One: A Message of Hope.” I’ve underlined the “blended parts.”

     Arch-Seraph Zephor clasped his hands behind his back and paced back and forth along the wall that surrounded the Southern Command Tower. The black leather trim on his grey seraph’s kilt swished just above his knees. His black boots, by design, made no sound. Zephor ignored both the icy wind that rustled through his brown wings and the annoying sprite that kept singing in his ear. As he stared at the gloomy, endless sea of fog that surrounded the tower, the creases around his brown eyes deepened, and he wrinkled his nose. The fog hid the southern front’s charred, leafless trees and scorched grass, but it still failed to block out the territory’s smoky stench. 
     Zephor continued pacing around the wall, where soldiers wearing the maroon and black kilts of the Elysian army guarded the tower with their bows readied. Their black breastplates and helmetsbore numerous dents and scratches from recent battles. Notched swords hung at their sides; mud caked their boots, legs, and arms; and their shoulders hunched from weariness. Normally, Zephor would have complained about the lack of supplies and weapons and demanded to know why his country refused to send him reinforcements... He extended his wings, which were shaped like a falcon’s and measured twice the length of his body, and flew to the ground, where he continued pacing.
(To read the first chapters of A Prophecy Forgotten in their entirety, click here.)

Blending not only helped me add a description of cherubians into my prose, but it also helped me describe the Elysian military’s exhaustion, Elysia's war-torn Southern Front, and hint at political turmoil. Double duty.

So take those details you want to include in your prose—details that will enhance the mood of your book (or your book’s soundtrack)—and blend them in. Don't let your old crone just “point at the forest.” Make her “point a twisted, spindly finger at the shadows in the forest.”

You’ve added two sensory details to your story. You’ve enhanced your reader’s experience ten-fold, and you only used four extra words! That’s spending your words wisely! It’s giving your words double duty! It’s making your description matter! Best yet, it makes your world come alive!

Be sure to check out my new To Elysia and Back Again podcast every Tuesday! Click here for more information.

Fantasy novelist M. B. Weston is the author of The Elysian Chronicles, a fantasy series about guardian angel warfare and treason, which is being adapted into a graphic novel series by Wandering Sage Publications, Inc., with Weston penning the script and KISS comic book artist, Adam Black, doing the art. Weston hosts a podcast on her To Elysia and Back Again blog, which can be downloaded on itunes. Click here for a complete listing of the To Elysia and Back Againpodcast episodes. Weston is also the host of The Final Cut in Movies, an internet radio talk show about science fiction and fantasy movies on Ad Astra Radio, which can also be heard as a podcast on M. B. Weston's Podcasts site or on iTunes. Weston speaks to children, teens, and adults about writing and the process of getting published. For more information on M. B. Weston, visit www.mbweston.com. Find out more about The Elysian Chronicles at www.elysianchronicles.com.